9 years

9 years ago tomorrow I made the biggest decision of my life, and it hasn't been the same since. 

I sat looking out over this lake (not my picture) and told God that I wanted a relationship with him. He has been so faithful. I read over my first journal entries ever today & was so encouraged by all the ways he has grown me, revealed himself to me, and answered prayers along the way (sometimes not in the way I wanted, but always in the way I needed)

I remember being so nervous about being able to stick with it. I've learned over the past 9 years that it has not been me who is the faithful one, but Him. I would not be sitting here today writing this if not for his constant love, forgiveness, and grace in my life. 

["He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phillipians 1:6]

When I arrived at Saranac (a YL camp in upstate NY), I had never heard that I was a sinner separated from God. I had never heard that I had a God that loved me so much he sent his only Son to die so that I could be presented blameless to Him.

["God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor 5:21]

What I've learned in the years since is that everything He claims is true. He has proven His love over and over. His heart for me is so loving and patient. I turn my back on Him every day to live for myself, and he is still patient and loving to me.

["I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. " Hosea 11:4]

Today I find myself still growing. Still figuring it out. Still running other places to get my fill, when I know that He is all I need. Still being brought to my knees out of his incredible love for me.

It has been a journey, that is for sure. I have never experienced such fullness in life as I have these past 9 years. I owe every bit of that to my incredible Lord. He truly is everything I need. The world could fall apart around me and He would be enough. 

["The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10]

I hope these next 9 years are marked by obedience in prayer, in listening, and in action. I hope my life points to HIS faithfulness and HIS love. I hope I look back and am a different person than I am today, just like now I am a different person than I was 9 years ago.

["He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God" Micah 6:8]